We’re laying in bed and as I reach over to click off the light, I get a whiff. In the dark, I give my armpit a sniff.
"Oh my God. I think I have BO."
On a mission to rid our family of metals, I’ve switched to a "natural deodorant," one that doesn’t contain aluminum.
Todd says,
"Yeah, that new deodorant isn’t really making the 24 hour mark."
What? Excuse me?
Sitting up, I flick on the light.
"Are you saying I stink?"
Todd has never said anything like that to me before. Frankly, no one has ever told me I stink, at least not in a literal sense.
"I’m just saying, there’s been a couple of times....."
"Oh my God! I can’t believe you just said that?"
"What? You don’t want to know?"
"Would you prefer I smell like a French whore?"
Apologies to the French. Apologies to the whores.
"Could we get a happy medium?" He laughs.
I flick off the light. Do I say anything about the stench he leaves in the bathroom everyday? Well, yeah, I guess I do. His two dainty squirts of air freshener do nothing to cover it up. You gotta lay on that nozzle to get rid of man-stink like that, baby.
Tired, I sigh. We’ve been married eight years. We’ve had a good run, but I guess the honeymoon's over.
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4 comments:
Now, now. YOU said you had BO. HE very kindly focussed on the deodorant. He was the very model of decorum and sensitivity. Picture the alternative:
"Oh my God. I think I have BO."
"Oh my God. You mean you've only just noticed?"
I tried a natual deodorant once. Once as in once.
Honeymoons are overrated anyway, Michelle. And natural deodorants are overrated, too. Let me know if you find one that works - I've been looking for years. Ditch the deodorant, but hold onto the man. He's not perfect, but he's yours ;-)
LOL! We went through about ten brands. I have found one that even works on my husband. Really! We have been using it for about 5 years now. "Alvera" is the brand, they have two flavors, one for me and one for him, they have it at most health food stores. There is such a huge variety of these and most stink. :)
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