Every time I write about the kids on my blog, wonderful people send comments and e-mails, telling me what a great parent I am. This sends my Shoulder Sitter on a rampage. She screams, “Fraud! If they only saw how you snapped at poor Seth, putting him to bed last night!”
She screams, “Fake! You could never count the number of times you’ve lost it on Riley when what she needed was more patience and understanding!”
The thing is, Shoulder Sitter, I write to process my life. Often, by the time I finish a piece, I’ve resolved something. Hopefully, I’ve learned something. I’m not trying to come off as perfect. We teach (or write about) what we need to learn and I am in great need of learning.
After wrestling with the Shoulder Sitter a while yesterday, I got an e-mail telling me a humor piece I wrote titled Teach Your Kids to Swear will be published today in The Imperfect Parent.
Now that’s just perfect!
You see, I am a potty mouth. Thus far, I have kept it at bay in front of the kids, but Todd teases me about my "Tourette's." My tic presents itself as a string of profanity that seems to fly involuntarily out of my mouth the second our kid's little heads hit their pillows at night. You see, I hold it in all day.
I checked out my piece in The Imperfect Parent this morning, and to my horror, there is a picture of a little kid giving the finger attatched! My piece is funny because it's not real. The picture of the child flipping the bird...well...that's unmistakably real and for me, it takes away some of the funny. Granted, The Imperfect Parent is known for differentiating itself from mainstream websites and magazines. They aren't interested in fake polished depictions of parenthood. Plus, they firmly planted the article in their humor section.
Oh well, lesson learned. Submit a piece called Teach Your Kids to Swear, and what do you expect? Still, those of you who are easily offended might want to skip this one. At the very least, maybe my Shoudler Sitter will shut up for a couple of minutes.