Hanging up the phone yesterday I felt dejected. Another LD school I was excited about is a no go. Riley learned the alphabet (in two days) before she was two. She started sounding out words at four. She's six now and reading chapter books. After talking to the director, I found out the school caters its program to the dyslexic student. Riley's peer group would be just learning to read. It would not be a good fit.
Her current teacher in her small self contained class is wonderful. Riley has gained so much socially from her experience this year, but she is truly not being academically challenged. She needs to be mainstreamed into a regular classroom with an aide for support but school officials balk at the aide request. Without emotional/social support she will certainly be set up to fail. She's too academically advanced for special ed. Not emotionally or socially adept enough for mainstream. If my child had a visible disability like Down Syndrome, or Cerebral Palsy, they would not question.
Will there ever be a place for her? Can we endure this battle with the public schools every year?
Upset, I called Todd. Then, I got myself together and went to pick her up at school.
When I got there her teacher aproached me with a form. Would I please give the art teacher permission to submit one of Riley's drawings in a statewide contest? She showed me the picture.
It is Riley, with her hands on a little table. The colors are vibrant and bright. On the table is a cat. Underneath, she wrote in clear neat letters, "When I grow up, I'm going to be a veterinarian."
A year ago she couldn't write.
*An angel came into her life and taught her. There will be more angels.
If she wins she'll get a 36K scholarship for college.
Even if she doesn't win, this little transaction certainly helped change my perspective.
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13 comments:
You know, there's a strange subset of special needs (ugh, I hate that term) kids who run into unexpected barriers because their disability isn't one they wear on their faces or their bodies. Even after my daughter got an actual diagnosis, it's been an issue for her.
And it's hard, because at the same time I'm thankful that she can move through the world without stares.
There is a place for her. You make it every day with your valiant love.
Will you be able to keep this up? Absolutely. As long as you don't project too far into the future, Michelle. Look back a few years. Let's say 6 years ago. Could you then have believed what you've managed and how you've handled these past 6 years? Would you have imagined the genuine strength you have? Don't some of the things you've pulled off surprise even you when you stop to consider them?
Your challenges are great. As the mother of two children with chronic illnesses (epilepsy and diabetes) I can only begin to imagine, but I can glimpse a corner of your world, I think. Looking back, I'm somtimes amazed at our ability not to just survive, but to thrive. I think of the year (Evan's junior year in high school) I visited his guidance counselor every Thursday of an entire school year so we could compare notes and make adjustments as necessary. I think of the preschool teacher conferences and the endless phone calls and notes. I think of the hours and hours spent coaxing him through homework and projects.
He's 24 now and doing well. After all the drama of his adolenscent years, we now spend time together as people who flat out like each other as well as love each other.
Miracles happen when you look for them. Everyone feels discouraged now and then, and you certainly have that right. This is a good place to vent it, too, because then people like me can tell you All will be well. And all will be well. And all manner of things will be exceedingly well. (Juliana of Norwich first said that.)
Continued strength to you. Courage. Love.
Riley is what they call, "Twice exceptional," she has a social learning disability (non-verbal LD) and is Talented and Gifted. Maybe research TAG programs, there are many "Rileys" out there!
Please post a copy of Riley's drawing!
In Adam's case it is the catch 22 of the gfcf diets, supplements etc. We were overjoyed that they brought him out of the fog but have left us in limbo with a little boy who often appears typical and has regained many lost skills but still has huge social and sensory roadblocks. Getting help is not easy. Like you, I want to keep my perspective positive about all of the improvements. I feel like we need care designed for recovering children which doesn't end when they reach certain milestones but only when it is clear that they are no longer struggling to participate in everyday life and can have fufilling social interactions.
eyes filling up - what a wonderful, wonderful validation of her gifts.
may you have strength to give her everything she needs.
Michelle,
We have an organization in our school of parents of children with IEP's (Individualized Education Plans) When my son got his IEP, his first teacher was good, but his second teacher was truly an angel from heaven. She "got" him and it made all the difference. We also have an InterSchool Council that has a parent group of children with IEP's. It is structured for parents to help one another navigate the red tape associated with getting the right services for our kids. I will find out more if you want me to.
What a great personal victory for Riley and yet your concern about fighting all the way through her educational career is probably not far from the truth.
I was so discouraged to have a school teacher and counselor label my daughter ADHD after scoring a form filled out by me and her teacher and then hearing she didn't score "high" enough to warrant any extra help from the school. I have to hope though that there IS a place for kids as smart and capable as Riley that take into account their needs in other areas. Don't give up hope!
MAYBE THE ANGEL IS YOU ! IT IS TOUGH BUT WE ALL ARE GONNA MAKE IT - HELL OR HIGH WATER! OK, both..
Wow, that is such a wonderful ending to a frustrating day! It won't always be like this. I'm believing God will continue to provide the education she needs - don't give up :)
Riley will persevere with all the courage, grace and love you and Todd and Seth have shown.
Life's little reminders.
Wow! It sure seems like that school has been good for her...?
But I use to work in public schools as a counselor here in California, and I was wondering...Don't you have the right under The Individual's with Disabilities Education Act, to DEMAND the aid for Riley? Who cares if they balk? I believe that you can demand they do it, under federal law. They know this. Push for it if you have to.
:)
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