Listening to my weekly Abraham CD in the car today, I heard the words, "You can never punish someone into alignment." The premise being, the spouse, child, employee, whomever is acting out because they are feeling disconnected with Source. Punishing them only furthers their feelings of separation, and it's never effective. They might acquiesce in the short run, but the problem is not solved.
Three minutes after we got in the door, I notice Seth holding his crotch.
"Seth you need to go use the potty." I say.
"NO I DON'T!" He stomps his foot.
I give him a stern, "Yes, you do" look and he flings himself onto the floor in protest.
Abraham says, "Remind them of who they are."
Hmmm.....you mean he's not this little raggedy-ass ball of misery I see in front of me?
Picking him up, I carry him toward the bathroom, saying, "Boy, you sure must not be feeling well, because this is not like you. You are such a sweet little boy. So polite."
"I don't have to go!" He wails, flailing and kicking my thighs.
"Seth, you just kicked me. I know how good you are. You would never want to hurt Mommy."
He stops kicking.
"I sit him on the potty and it was a close call ("like a race horse" comes to mind).
When he's done washing his hands, he hugs me. I'm feeling great because I totally did not get sucked in.
Had I not listened to that CD today the outcome would have been very different. I would have threatened him, given him consequences. Or perhaps I would have let it go, only to be furious when he dribbled in his underpants 10 minutes later.
A dark cloud would have hung over our afternoon.
Such a simple shift in perspective. "Remind them of who they really are."
Such a profound difference.
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15 comments:
Why the hesitation when they have to go so badly? I used to do it when I was a kid too.
Wow...what is this Abraham CD you're talking about? SOunds like I should check it out.
A great lesson for all of us. Especially the part about not getting sucked into the drama. Something I need to hold onto with a teenager in the house!
Oh my god, I LOVE this post. I laughed out loud and then was just grateful for the teaching. Thank you, thank you.
The raggedy ass part is so dang funny!
YOU MUST LEND ME THAT CD WHEN I MEET YOU (hooray!) NEXT MONTH!
OMG, THANK YOU for this post today. Total scuffle with Miss M's camp counselor today. I almost lost my sh*t.
I think I need to remember who *I* am.
I need to order that CD right now.
Thanks again for the grace and levity.
Oh my gosh. You know what? I have been obsessing for days about my dad, and how to talk to him. Somehow reach him without him getting mean and defensive. I wonder if he is drinking again, in secret, because his behavior is sooo over the line...and it is not really like him. Although lately it has been. This is JUST what I needed to hear. I need to put aside my reaction, and remind him who he is! And this is why I know something is not right.
Thank you. Do you get your cd's from Hay House?
:)
Thank you for this post. It couldn't have come at a better time. We have been having a few "dark cloud" days, and this was just what I needed.
LOVE the raggedy ass comment. I'm with Prema.
Seth isn't alone. I usually wait until my eyeballs are yellow before I give in and go. Unfotunately if I remind myself of who I am, at my age, the diapers are soon to follow.......
Great lesson today--thank you!
See...this is why I love you. Always reminding me to look at things differently. And I'm with the others...good timing! Now somebody just needs to remind those around me when I've lost it that I am not being who I am. Perhaps that will be me.
Such a logical strategy....see the best in people and mirror this back to them.
A strategy for life, not just for parenting.
i love that.
This idea has been on my mind, Michelle, but you've put it so much better than I managed in the wee hours early this morning.
Thank you for this one, and for all the times you shine a light into the dark corners.
I loved the wisdom you shared in this post. This is so true. I've been trying to use positive thinking and encourage my family to do the same. How you approach these potential dramas makes all of the difference in the world. Especially with a teenager!
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