Laying on the air mattress in my attic office, I clutch a rough, scratchy paper towel. The only thing to blow my nose on. I'm not going downstairs for a tissue.
Have you ever felt like stepping out of your life and into another?
People do it. I could just pack a bag, and walk. Happens all the time. "I'm going out for cigarettes." Or in this case, preservative free, sugar free, partially hydrogenated free bread.
We haven't talked in 24 hours. Besides the screaming.
Laying here in the dark, I hear him putting the kids to bed.
If he comes up to talk, we're okay. If he doesn't, we're done.
Such stupid, immature thinking. As if I'd throw away our whole marriage over his failure to guess the "right" action this one night. Come up? Leave her alone? How can he win?
Stupid, immature? Maybe, but it feels real tonight.
--
As soon as the babies were asleep,
he came up.
HT came up.
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17 comments:
And?
Because love just doesn't dissolve overnight, if it's real. But, I understand your feeling, Michelle. Been there, felt that. :)
people that do not fight are boring and do not care.
Of course he came up. When all else fails, history steps in.
I am so pleased that he made the effort. I am sorry you are in pain right now, but I have faith that your connection and history together will prevail.
Love to you both.
If I had an f'ing nickel I've been in your shoes! Complete with the TFBS air mattress and "tissue!"
The more personal, the more universal!
Yes, because he loves you.
Thanks for being so honest Michelle.
I'm so glad he did! Thanks for sharing such real, honest, and raw feelings here.
Blessings.
Of COURSE he came up!!!
I'm so happy to hear that, so happy that he instinctively was able to give you exactly what you needed. Not to sound redundant, but fighting really is healthy. The ability to get to the other side just makes you stronger, and you and HT seem incredibly strong together.
I hope you two are back to dancing in the kitchen again, or will be very soon.
oh, YEAH, he came up! I was hoping for this post.
HT is a good man. He knows you and he loves you.
A fight, even a big one, doesn't change these fundamental facts.
Both of you are in my prayers.
This actually made my eyes a little wet. Because this sounds like me. This is just what I think when we fight-- he better come in, he better try and fix it, he better just hug me...
Poor guys.
But this is real life. This is real love. This is it. ;)
:)
I just want to know if anything else came up that night?
*sigh* He's one of the good ones, isn't he? Got one myself and even on the days when that loaf of bread screams "RUN -RUN NOW. YOUR LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER WITHOUT HIM . . ." I just know, somehow with a strange sense that can't be measured, that no matter how bad it gets, it would be so much worse without him.
Sorry about this rough patch. I probably left this in another comment at some point in time, but my old pastor used to say, "God doesn't waste pain on anyone." This pain has a purpose, too (even though it bites!). I'll be praying for you friend.
Love.
I never doubted HT.....
Of course he did, he's way more than just a coat rack you know
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