Rude Dog

Recently we visited a new friend who has a dog.

Riley, a cat person who is leery of canines, got up her nerve and sat bravely beside him. She even offered the dog an awkward pat or two.

The dog got up, retrieved a big bone, laid down in front of us and began gnawing on it.

Riley watched for a minute, then leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"Mom. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but he chews with his mouth open."

Mercury in Energy Efficient Lightbulbs

I just saw a news story on our Yahoo service that says the new, spiral, energy saving light bulbs contain mercury. 5Mg. I grabbed the box we have downstairs and sure enough there is a label that says, "LAMP CONTAINS MERCURY. Manage in accord with disposal laws."

Only problem is there are no universal disposal laws.

The following website (if you scroll way down and click on a link) gives some information on proper disposal, but not a lot. Double bag. Don't vacuum if a bulb breaks on a hard surface. Open a fricking window.

http://www.energystar.gov/index.cfm?c=cfls.pr_cfls

The EPA in a pathetic effort to placate concerns, says the amount of mercury in the bulbs is just a teeny bit, "no bigger than the tip of a pen." It goes on to say,roughly paraphrased, "Waaaaay more mercury was in those glass thermometers of days gone by."

I was really excited about these new bulbs. It seemed like an easy way to save energy and help the environment. But if they are just going to contaminate our landfills with hazardous waste, and our air when they are... whoops, accidentally incinerated,no thanks.

To read what effect mercury exposure might have on a person click the following:

http://www.epa.gov/mercury/effects.htm#elem

Really?

"Symptoms include these: tremors; emotional changes (e.g., mood swings, irritability, nervousness, excessive shyness); insomnia; neuromuscular changes (such as weakness, muscle atrophy, twitching); headaches; disturbances in sensations; changes in nerve responses; performance deficits on tests of cognitive function."

You don't say?

What?

It also causes "damage to the GI tract, skin rashes, dermatitis;(more) mood swings, and mental disturbances?"

Hmmm... Imagine that?

I'll go old school and bring back the round bulbs. I'm not risking my kids being exposed to a dropped bulb. We've come too far for that.

P.S. If this post looks a bit unpolished, blogger won't let me change my font, work my spell check, do my italics, add a link, etc. From time to time it likes to mess with me. Whatever, blogger. See if I care.

You Don't Bring Me Flowers, Anymore....

But a guy at Trader Joe's does!

That's right Hot Toddy. You are in so much trouble. When's the last time....?

Yes, a random gentleman at Trader Joes slipped a beautiful bouquet into my cart and said they were "on him."

Mama's still got it!

These are the questions my man asked when he called me from work and I told him of my score.

"Did he see you had kids?"

"Yep."

"How old was he?"

"Late forties."

"Was he cute?"

"He was alright."

"Was he bald?"

"No."

(I can't believe this thought even enters his smooth little head).

Later when he got home, as he looked over the flowers, I told him the guy was just being nice. He wasn't even all that flirty. He gave the kids a fruit leather too.

Then, I had a thought which I expressed to HT.

"Maybe they weren't paid for at all? Maybe he just convinced me to shoplift? Or maybe Trader Joes was throwing them out or something?"

He raises an eyebrow, touches a petal.

"They don't look like they were being thrown out." He says.

Then, putting the H in HT, he continues,

"Maybe he just had good taste?"

Not just a hat rack, people.

Reach for the Sky

Nancy, whom I met at one of Jennifer's workshops, has gone and blown me away. When you have time to give it the respect it deserves,

read this:

1) http://easybake-mom.blogspot.com/2007/09/reach-for-sky.html

then this:

2) http://easybake-mom.blogspot.com/2007/09/reach-for-skycontinued.html

and finally this:

3) http://easybake-mom.blogspot.com/2007/09/reach-for-skypart-three.html

You'll be glad you did.

So great Nancy! Bravo!

Top Ten Reasons to Love Cleveland

1) Every parent from every district thinks their child's school is the best.

2) Easy access to Trader Joes, Whole Foods, Wild Oats and farmer's markets.

3) Houses, for cheap.

4) Traffic, what traffic?

5) Mama Santa's pizza. It ain't Endicott, NY but it'll do (thanks for the tip, Kim).

6) Cleveland people are nice.

7) The Cleveland blogger network kicks butt!

8) Thai food! Real thai food!

9) Incredible libraries. They have everything and you can drop off your stuff at whatever branch you want.

10) The lost art of real communities. Every block has a party.

Bonus: The arts. Which I intend to take full advantage of in...oh...a month or two.

DWTS

Is it just me and HT or were the judges sooooo mean to Josie the supermodel? Her partner seemed mad at her. He was stone silent. I know, the poor gorgeous, rich thing. But geez! She wasn't that bad.

Other thoughts.... What the hell's a Cheeta girl?

Why the hell would you sign up for DWTS 7 weeks after hip surgery?

Why the hell would you sign up for DWTS 2 minutes after you have a baby?

Oh, and could Jane Seymour be more elegant?

And Marie Osmond. She can't not do the cutesy, and she totally gets away with it, and it will only look cuter as she gets older. Imagine her at 85, winkin' and flirting? I'm loving her.

Oh, and Riley and Seth are staying up to watch two dances (three tonight) and they think Bruno is a stitch. He called Jenny Garth a Yummy Mummy and they were ROLLING!

That's all I've got for now. I've gotta go vote.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Letting Go, One Candy Corn at a Time

After following a very strict diet for the past 18 months we've slowly been adding foods back. For some ASD kids this would be out of the question, but Riley isn't one that gets "stoned" on wheat and dairy. Though we didn't see any dramatic behaviorial changes from eating this way, the kids got a much wider variety of nutrients. Their appetites broadened considerably and both are willing to eat many more foods (lots of vegetables) these days.

Last week, we went on an overnight trip to Buffalo, NY and we ate in restaurants. Our kids were in heaven. So were we.

Halfway home we stopped at Crackerbarrel and when the nice waitress brought our check, she plopped a bag of candy corn on the table, right in front of Riley.

"This is from an older gentleman who just left. He wanted to give it to your children because they were so cute and well behaved."


Now...


We are eating wheat again.

We are eating dairy again.

We are not eating junk.

(and by we, I mean them...mama's gotta have her chocolate,daddy's gotta have his pizza).

Riley looked at me with big, hopeful, hazel eyes.

Seth stared at the bag on the table, filled with orange, yellow, and white artificially colored, artificially flavored, chemical triangles.

Pure sugar.


On our way out of Buffalo, we'd stopped at a little holistic pharmacy/gift shop. Todd and the kids stayed in the car.


A tiny statue caught my eye. Impulsively, I added it to my purchases. It is a woman, with an open heart. Her hands cup around it, and inside is a tiny bird. The bird is not attached. You can take it out and put it back in.

The paper with it read,

Release

"As you take flight remember
that you are surrounded by the
limitless space of my heart. I
see your wisdom, truth and
beauty, and know you are
protected from harm.
Blessed Be!"

"Can we eat the candy corn Mommy?" She asked.

"Can we?" He pleaded.

I paused.


Then, nodded.

They looked at each other like they'd won the lottery.

I caught Todd's smiling eyes across the table,

took a deep breath in,


exhaled,


and felt myself

let go.

http://www.bellpineartfarm.com/

These Are Mine...

What are your in-laws like?

Om...Bibi....Om.....

Needs some inspiration, or a good laugh?
Read this.

Counting My Blessings

Driving home from Trader Joes this evening I was thinking about Riley. It's been since we moved that she's started offering spontaneous displays of affection. And let's see, we only arrived in Cleveland mid-June.

Today alone, she must have given me 20 unsolicited hugs. She's become quite the snuggle bug. Hot Toddy is getting his share too. And kisses. We're getting kisses.

It's like she's making up for lost time.

My heart is full tonight.

Amen.

Time to Shake It

Darling,

We haven't been dancing in a while. No lifting my shirt during TV commercials to gross you out with Shakira inspired contortionist moves(did I ever mention his fear of belly buttons)? No Hot Toddy hula. No whiplash inducing tango across the living room rug.

It's been too damn serious.

Let's bring back the magic.

You.

Me.

Marie Osmond.

http://abc.go.com/primetime/dancingwiththestars/?pn=bio#t=star

Three more days.

XO

Love,

________ (nickname I am not allowed to mention)

Happy Birthday Kelli!

My sister has a birthday today!

I love you Kelli, even if you did get the good xylophone and I got stuck with this piece of crap babyish Fisher Price toy. Not that I'm bitter.

Hope you have a great day.

XO

"The light of God surrounds you.

The love of God enfolds you.

The power of God protects you,

and the presence of God

watches over you.

Wherever you are God is.

All is well."

-Unity Prayer for Protection

She Did Good.

Thank you Jenny McCarthy. Thank you Evan. Your message of hope on Oprah today will lead many toward healing.

Happy Birthday Shannon Coates!

Happy Birthday to you.

Happy Birthday to you.

You're just too damn pretty,

And you sing real good too.

Happy Birthday Sabadoo (S@bd)!

Ask a Blogger

Jenny Rough has graciously asked me if I want to take over her Ask a Blogger column for the Mad as Hell Club website.

Mad as Hell? Me?

Surely Jenny jests.

I'm not mad.

Well, except about the autism epidemic.

Speaking of which, maybe I'm a little mad at Big Pharma?

And circumcisions. That subject can get me fired up pretty quickly.

Oh....and people who don't watch their kids at the library. Grrr...

But this is a column about blogging. It's "Ask a Blogger." Blogging is my friend. I love blogging. I'm not mad about it. Well, maybe one or two things tick me off, but you'll just have to wait for my first column for that kind of information. Yes, I've agreed. Oct. 15, will be my first day. It'll be tough filling Jenny's shoes, but I'll give it a go.

So....any questions you'd like to "ask a blogger?" You can post anonymously here on the blog, or e-mail (you can find my address in my profile). If you don't want to be anonymous, and I use your question, I'll even link you in the column, if you like.

So, go ahead, fire away.

Ask.

Anyone?

Anyone?

I'm sitting here, waiting, no, living for your questions.

Thanks Jenny!

Roll, Then Crawl, Then Walk, Then Run, Then Fly

"Anything worth doing, is worth doing poorly, until you can do it well."

- Zig Ziglar


(thanks Beth)!

Monkeys for the Monkeys = Break for Mom

Eager to blow Seth's birthday money we ventured out to the mall. They each got one of these kits.

You decorate the bobble heads however you want. They come with hair, eyes, markers to draw on facial expressions, etc.

They worked on them and played with them for four hours straight, fully engaged and happy.

Less than $20.00. Great idea for b-day gifts.

Fours hours.

Need I say more?

The Cost of Being Uninformed

Asthma? Anyone have asthma?

Bi-polar? Anyone? Anyone?

Allergies? Any peanut allergies out there?

ADHD.

Anxiety.

Don't kid yourselves people. Our nation's children are chronically ill, and it's not just autism I'm talking about. Look the other way about vaccines all you want but your kids will be the ones paying.

Oh, but you'll pay too:

$300.00-600 per week in allergy elimination treatments for the kids.
$800.00 per month for vision therapy.
$300 per month in supplements.

20K a year on therapies insurance won't pay for, (but would pay for if the same issues had been brought on by a different disability).

And I'm just scratching the surface here.

Lately I'm having to cover Seth with a hundred band-aides before preschool (and rip them off later to reapply medicine...complete with screaming and crying) for a viral skin condition he's contracted due to his ill-functioning immune system. He passes, but he's chronically ill too. His allergies are so bad he hasn't been able to breathe out of his nose in over two years. Claritin and the likes of it don't do squat. Thus, the elimination treatments.

No constipation this week. That's a blessing.

Mama's exhausted, and what these kids go through?

Today, I'm mad as hell.

And I tell you what, it feels a lot better than despair.

}_@)#$*{@_(#%&*{@#)(&%*{_#@)(%&_@%$)(&!!!


*http://www.evidenceofharm.com/

* http://www.amazon.com/Healing-New-Childhood-Epidemics-Groundbreaking/dp/0345494504

*http://www.amazon.com/What-Doctor-About-Childrens-Vaccinations/dp/0446677078/ref=sr_1_1/102-0584874-8992937?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1189784883&sr=1-1

*http://www.autism.com/triggers/index.htm

It Might Just Be Because I Love You

Things are so very busy here. I'll write about it once the dust settles, but trust me. It's insane. During this whirlwind, there are some blogs, I simply cannot get to. Not because I'm not interested, but because they require a certain respect. Some contemplation. Time.


Bloggy friends, (who write long posts), if I'm not reading you, please don't take it personally.


It might just be that I love you too much to skim over your words half distracted.


I'll catch up soon, kay?


Lovingly yours,


Michelle

--------

"Does this sound bitchy?"

He reads it over.

"No."

"But it kind of implies that I think people give a damn whether I comment or not on their blogs."

"You asked if it was bitchy, not if it was self-absorbed."

Touche.'

Soul Mates

She walks out of school beaming.
"I got caught doing good!"

In the car, she unzips her backpack and hands Seth the prizes she picked.

A purple piece of chalk and a purple marker. For him.

While she's at school, he gets a birthday card, with money, from his grandparents.

He waves the bill in the air, grins, and says,

"Now Riley can get the Littlest Pet Shop toy she wanted!"

These two.

They fight on occassion, but there has never been sibling rivalry between them. She loved Seth from the moment she laid eyes on him, and when you are loved like that, it's easy to give it right back.

As long as Seth's around, there will always be someone who "gets her."

As long as Riley's around, there will always be someone who loves him beyond measure.

When you have a child on the spectrum, there are many challenges.

Getting to watch their relationship is one of the gifts.

9/11

It was a gorgeous blue sky day. I was out walking 15 month old Riley in the stroller. My neighbor and her black lab joined us. We were living in a suburb just outside Chicago. Todd was working for a company that taught pharmacists how to use IV equipment.

A man, a neighbor I barely knew, ran outside of his house and told us of the planes in NYC. He had to tell someone.

Our steps quickened as we headed home.

Another neighbor, came out, "The Pentagon."

I'd lived in the DC area. I couldn't conceive of anything harming "The Pentagon."

"In DC?" I asked, confused. As if there might be another Pentagon someplace else.

Once home, I sat in front of the TV. All day. Doomsday, very real in my mind.

Todd was at work, shielded from the news bombardment. He'd heard, but hadn't really heard.

He had clients in town from all over the country. It was his job to take them to dinner after the class he'd taught all day.

I asked him to cancel.

He didn't feel he could.

I told him his clients should be back in their hotels with room service,talking to their families on the phone.

He didn't feel he could let work down.

I was in the middle of nowhere with my baby girl. Watching the horror unfold, traumatized right along with the rest of the nation, and he didn't come home 'til 10:00 that night.

Let's just say it caused quite a crises in our marriage.

Todd and I are both very different people than we were six years ago. Now, he would definitely come home if he had the choice(he's dealing with hospital patients so he actually couldn't). Now, I wouldn't ask him to. I wouldn't need him to.

I almost feel guilty posting this because my 9/11 drama seems so ridiculous in the grand scheme of all that went down that day.

But everyone who was affected by 9/11 had their own little life dramas going on. By sharing mine, I hope to somehow honor theirs.

I Believe I Can Fly!

Thank you Agent M., for posting this.

The Price of Gas

Instant breakfast drink in hand, Hot Toddy joins me on the porch swing. He's got exactly two minutes before leaving for work. The kids are inside, clicking on the computer. I can hear them through the screen.

He glances at the van in the driveway.

"Did you get gas?"

"Yep." I say.

The gas bell "dinged" as we were heading home yesterday, but I went out again in the evening and filled it up along my travels.

"It took fifty bucks to fill up the tank!" I tell him.

His eyes go wide.

"Where did you get it?"

"BP."

"How much was it?"

I shrug.

"How can you not look at the price?"

"Would it have made a difference? I was on "E."

"But how could you not look at the price?"

"Why would I?"

"To be properly outraged!" He laughs.

"I wasn't really going for outrage yesterday."

He sighs.

Maybe next time.

"Will You Post This On Your Blog?"

"Yes, but what do you want it to say?"

Her reply:

"My daughter is a genius art maker. Yes Sir, she is."


and...

"Sunny Day, Sweeping the clouds away. Do you feel sunny about this picture? My daughter does."

I can't think of a thing to add to that.

Should Five Year Olds Have to Give Birth?

There is a doctor who has put his life on the line, holding fast to his research findings despite unimagniable political pressure and blackballing from within his own profession.

Presently he's undergoing scrutiny for subjecting his research subjects (autistic children) to colonoscopies. A typical GI tract is smooth, but Wakefield found that many autistic kids have lesions all over their intestines. And guess what? The lesions are measles! And oh...looky looky, there are many measles strains out there, but the lesions wreaking havoc on the autistic kid's GI tracts are....the very strains found in the MMR vaccine.

https://www.autismwebsite.com/drandrewwakefield/

Let me tell you, if you have watched your child suffer from constipation on a regular basis, despite all the tricks, (daily magnesium, prunes, fluids, high fiber, laxatives). If you have to use a plunger weekly because your child's BM's are so huge that they clog the toilet. If you are sitting on the floor by the potty, looking into the eyes of your five, six, seven year old, sweat beading up on her forehead, lamaze breathing, her pleading with you to help as she gives birth to one of these things, again...a colonoscpy is the least of you or your child's concerns. You do whatever you can to help your kid.

Dr. Wakefield will go down in history as a hero in the medical profession. He is already a hero to autistic parents and their children.

If the powers that be would spend more time listening to him, rather than covering their own butts, we'd have a lot more children on the road to recovery.

Who Gives a Tinker's Damn About a Few Extra Pounds?

Lyrics to Big Blond & Beautiful from Hairspray


"Bring on that pecan pie

Pour some sugar on it

Sugar don't be shy



Scoop me up a mess

Of that chocolate swirl

Don't be stingy, I'm a growing girl



I offer big love

With no apology

How can I deny the world

The most of me

I am not afraid

To throw my weight around



Pound by pound by pound



Because I'm

Big, blonde and beautiful

There is nothin' 'bout me

That's unsuitable



No one wants a meal

That only offers the least

When girl we're servin' up

The whole damn feast



Slice me off a piece

Of that hog head cheese

Then take a look inside

My book of recipes



Now, don't you sniff around

For something fluffy and light



I need a man who brings

A man-size,

Appetite



I'll use a pinch of sugar

And a dash of spice

I'll let ya lick the spoon

Because it tastes so nice

I'll keep it in my oven

'Til it's good and hot

Keep on stirring 'til it hits the spot



Because I'm... Big, blonde and beautiful

And Edna girl, you're lookin' so

Recruitable



Why sit in the bleachers

Timid and afraid

When Edna, You look like the whole parade!



They say that

Black is whack

And big ain't in,

Well that's just bull

Cause ladies big is back

And as for black

It's Beautiful



All shapes and sizes

Follow me

Who wants a twig

When you can have the whole tree?"



* Ahem....is it getting hot in here? This is a great soundtrack. Fun for the kiddies, loaded with inuendo for the grown-ups.

Joan of Arcadia Moment, Indulge Me

I miss Joan.

There was no closure.

They should publish the script, so we could at least know what happened with the characters.

Luke. Kevin. Grace. Adam. Mr. & Mrs. G.

Oh, and God in all his/her forms.

I loved that show.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9064335668210783857&q=joan+of+arcadia&total=335&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=3

The following is my favorite piece of dialogue from the show. The episode was called Touch/Point. Trying to fit in, Joan had agreed to be sneaky and find out about a friend's sexuality which was in question by the popular group at school. She sees God that day in the school basement and he wants to play chess.

"Joan - Ok um, well, before anything happens, I should just let you know up front. I dont know how to play chess. God, Ya' know, I'm actually, uh, for once very glad to see you.

God - And why is that, Joan?

Joan- Because my life is completely unraveling. I'm up to my eyeballs in the drama of the high school mating ritual, and now, thanks to you, I've been mistaken as the school chess champion. How did this happen to me?

God - Which part?

Joan - How did I beat that kid at chess?

God - He was using logic. You weren't. It's impossible to guard against chaos. It's rare, but it happens. Blacks move.

Joan - I don't want to... I don't know how to play this game.

God - And yet you play the game.

Joan - Because I'm forced to.

God - Forced to? Your friends make a suggestion, which you follow up on, and then you're surprised at the outcome? It's a causal universe. Move.

Joan - Wait a minute, I'm being punished because I made a tiny little effort to fit in?

God - It's not about punishment. It's that actions have consequences, and to be in denial of that is to be disengaged from the laws of the universe, which renders you powerless and vulnerable to an inordinate amount of pain. Other than that, it's no big deal... move.... (She touches one of the pieces and then changes her mind)No.

Joan - No?

God - It's a rule called "touch move." Once you touch a piece, you have to move that piece.

Joan - I'm not allowed to change my mind? What kind of universe is that?

God - Oh, you can change your mind, but you still have to play that piece. So you should think before you move.

Joan - Wait a minute, this is a metaphor... Yeah, I looked up "metaphor" and that's definitely an example. Yep, I took the bait. So now I'm in the game. How do I get out?

God - There are many ways to get out; surrender is one, losing is another. Winning, cheating, which I don't recommend, but you have to do something. You have to have a strategy. See the number one rule in chess is this; whatever you do, don't play the other person's game. Play your own.

Your move."

(Aired Oct. 2003)

Double Really

Today is a big day for the little guy. He turns five and starts pre-K half days, at his new school. He's coming into his own boyishness. No longer satisfied to play with Riley's girl things, (yes he's ridden the Barbie scooter forever) he wants Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers this year. We asked him what he wanted to do, and that's how we found ourselves riding the commuter train that runs through Cleveland. He whooped and beamed as we whizzed by.

Hey fellow travelers in your shirts and ties, don't you get how fun this is?

This little boy, is shy and sweet. He'll also take out his peers in gymnastics verbally if they dare scream too loud around his sister.

"MY SISTER HAS SENSITIVE EARS!" He'll say, all up in their faces.

We've long done "I love you" in sign language, but blogger Shari says if you cross your middle over your pointer when you do it, it means "I really love you." I taught this to the kids and Seth one upped even this, doing it with both hands. He grins and says, "Mommy, I double really love you."

Today he'll hear his story. About when the doctor said, "He's a good looking baby." He'll hear how his daddy said, "Hi Buddy." over and over. He'll hear how they gave him to me on a gurney in the hall, because my hospital room wasn't ready, but I was ready for him. He'll hear how happy we were to have a boy. That I knew his name was Seth when I heard him cry. A soft cry, it was.

He'll hear how he completes this family. How he's the only boy for us, the icing on our cake.

We love you buddy!

Double really!

Happy Birthday.

Open Heart

I'm doing it again. My shoulders are rounded toward my chest. My head juts forward.
"Open your heart."

It was an offhanded comment Jennifer made. She was instructing us in meditation. We were just getting started, shifting around on our butts to find a comfortable position.

She said we often hunch our shoulders as a way to protect our hearts. Symbolically, it made so much sense.

I've protected my heart so much that at 38 I fear I've the start of a Dowager's hump. Not noticeable to anyone but me and my aching right shoulder if I've not been to yoga in a while. No dancer's posture here. I catch myself slumping all the time.

Now, when I see old ladies all contracted forward, I'm filled with compassion. I want to ask them, "What needed all that protecting?" and "Was it worth it?"

Years ago, I heard Marianne Williamson, in a tape on eating disorders say, when you look at an overweight person, keep in mind "the weight is the size of their wound."

Strange how our bodies give us away. Then again, not strange at all.

Todd worked the evening shift last night, and got home late. He actually wasn't late, but we'd miscommunicated, and I thought he was very late. Sitting in my worried quiet, it occurred to me that I don't know what route he takes to work? I would have no idea where to look for him in this new city if the car broke down. He doesn't carry a cell. There was no one I could call.

I've gained six pounds since our move.

I'm hunching.

When I caught myself just now, I asked,

"Do you feel safe yet?"

"No. Not yet. Things are too up in the air. Nothing is settled. New schools for the kids. New doctors. Todd's new job isn't working out. New everything. It's all too much."

"I see."

Throwing my shoulders back, I take a deep breath, and work on opening my heart anyway.