I just painted Seth's new bedroom.
We had a moment of connection when I dropped him off today. One of his little friends was doing something silly in the hall. We looked at each other and smirked. It happened with me and my Gramma all the time, though her smirk was usually accompanied by a wink.
Purple, of course.
When I finished, I had about 1/2 hour before picking him up at preschool.
I decided to do a short meditation.
Sitting on a rolled up canvas tarp, I put on my CD Walkman and thought of Seth.
We had a moment of connection when I dropped him off today. One of his little friends was doing something silly in the hall. We looked at each other and smirked. It happened with me and my Gramma all the time, though her smirk was usually accompanied by a wink.
Connection.
Breathing, in and out.
So much of your babyhood is a blur. I'm sorry. I can't go back. We're moving forward, you and me. All of us.
So many times I've lost my temper with you, when it wasn't you. You were just the last straw. I'm sorry.
I look forward to watching your life unfold. I look forward to connecting with you more and more and then some. I stand back amazed at who you are, knowing I can't even fathom how far you'll go.
I'm here for you. Always.
Float with me little one. Your soul and my soul, clasping hands, dancing, soaring, laughing.
Thank you for coming to me. For being my son. Thank you.
I approve of you.
I approve of you.
I approve of you.
P.S. I hope you love your new room.
11 comments:
I'll have what you're having.
Beautiful.
Can't write anything profound. Laughing too hard at Drama Mama.
Perfect comment for a perfect post.
Your children are so blessed. So are you.
I'll have what you're having, too.
Okay, these witty comments are making me feel like a dork, sitting here crying at my computer.
No wit at the moment, just deep appreciation for your words, and profound gratitude that I get to feel that kind of love too.
Belly and I had a moment like that just this morning, across the room at music class: "yay, she's finally bringing out the balls!" we thought together, eyes to eyes, smile to smile.
Thanks Kim!
I often feel I've missed so much with Seth. He is a great kid.
And Riley didn't make those kind of connections. Just lately, she's really studying my face, deliberately, and asking questions like, "Mommy. Are you biting your lip because you're worried?" She's so trying to put the pieces together to this confusing game of non-verbal communication!
Love you and Belly's "moment."
Thank you for sharing!
I hope he enjoys his room and the connection.
so beautiful - so well put. I love those moments of connection - it can be with your kid, or your spouse across a crowded room.
I love how you write, pure poetry - thanks for sharing.
Will you please promise to print this out and keep it someplace safe and give it to him in a letter when he's 30....
Truly, it's love medicine and I have a feeling that it will carry the full intention over many, many years.
Beautiful.
Good idea Prema. I hadn't thought of it but I'll print it out and put in in his baby book!
No words--no breath left.
You are such an inspiration to me and such a gift to your children!
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