The kids on our street walk to school. Most mornings, we hook up with one of Riley's classmates and her little sister. Their mom works, so sometimes the nanny is with them. Sometimes an elderly neighbor walks the girls, and sometimes another mother who lives on our street accompanies them along with her own daughter. She's dressed for business and is obviously dropping the girls off before heading to work.
It's this mom that pisses me off.
When Riley sees them coming from the opposite direction, her and Seth run to catch up. When these sweet little girls stop to wait for Riley, this woman gets visibly annoyed. She marches ahead of her charges, forcing her daughter keep step with her and the two of them keep walking ahead of the rest of us. The children jabber as we walk another block and a half to school, and this woman does not make eye contact with me. Has not yet introduced herself. Here I am...walking and talking with the two she is supposedly taking to school. Here I am, new resident only lived here a month and she can't be bothered to say hello? Here I am, with the cutest, sweetest little kids in the world, and she does not even acknowledge them? Second time in a week with this crap.
Who the hell does she think she is?
I suppose because she's off to her real job, she's more important than some stay at home mom in sweats?
I'm sure she's just soooooo busy.
Or maybe she has something against my special needs kid?
Or maybe she's just rude to everyone?
I walk along, silently fuming.
Looking up, the sky is beautiful and blue through the branches in the trees.
Looking down, Seth's thick little hand holds my left. Riley's delicate one holds my right.
Riley.
Riley.
Step. Step. Step.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Sigh.
Or maybe, just maybe.....the woman walking ahead of me with the poor social skills has Asperger's.
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19 comments:
Bravo, Michelle! Or maybe she is incredibly shy. Or maybe she has a boss who is unyielding and punitive, or maybe....
Compassion. Love. Acceptance. That's what it's all about, isn't it?
Maybe she hates herself, hates her job, her husband doesn't pay attention to her, her self-esteem is shot, and she can't bear to face the clear presence of your eyes. Maybe?
It's just so nice to see someone stepping outside of themselves and their needs to see the humanity in others. Here's another Bravo to you!
...Or maybe she has Bitchism. ;)
No. You are a bigger person than me, see? Heh.
:)
Maybe.
We can never know someone else's issues or challenges. Brilliant of you to give her the benefit of the doubt.
That Riley girl is quite a teacher, isn't she?
Michelle,
Something my sister said at my brother's funeral (after he committed suicide) comes to mind, "Be kinder than you need to be, because you never never know what demons someone may be facing."
Her demeanor probably has nothing to do with you or your kids.
Peace,
Mary Beth
Pretty perceptive post. What we see in others often says a lot more about us than it does about them, doesn't it?
My hunch is that she's mostly fearful, and possibly shy. Less likely that she's silently judging you.
Nice job working through it.
She's probably a very unhappy person.
Great attitude about it, though. :)
People are often paralyzed by their own fears. Sounds like she has some fear goin' on in her heart.
Because who wouldn't want to say HI to you and your cutie pie kiddos!
Or, maybe she's not a MORNING person and doesn't talk to anyone before 10 am!!!
Conversations are usually a two way street. Perhaps she is hurting in her own way and needs a caring ear. We will never know unless we inquire.
Or, perhaps, she is just a natural-born pain in the ass.
Give Riley and Seth hugs from a guy old enough to be their grandfather.
You just gotta love the kids. They can look past most of the dumb things we adults do in the name of being "adult".
hooray for wonderful wise you! yes! my friend has a quote at the end of her emails: Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of a battle.
who knows what hers is? but it certainly doesn't have anything to do with those lovely girls, dear seth, or you.
xxx
Lovely. You have a most acute pair of writer's eyes. They see everything.
That was my first instinct as I read on about *this* woman.
Compassion and Empathy. That' my Michelle.
Ma Belle.
Wise and compassionate post. We so often project our own insecurities about ourselves onto the actions of others without realizing they have their own as well. Maybe over time, you will find a way to thaw her out and bridge the gap. She may even end up being a friend. Life is strange and mysterious when we keep all doors open.
I love your honesty!
I was just thinking that perhaps she has Aspergers. Or, maybe she's just a bitch. Hard to know from where I'm sitting.
People have always assumed that my inability to make conversation was rudeness. And I've always wished that they wouldn't. But probably there's more going on here than just reluctance to chat with you.
Have you introduced yourself? You should. Maybe it won't matter, but it couldn't hurt.
You really are an amazing person for going to that maybe place. I was silently adding in maybe she resents you for being a good mother and fortunate to have the loving supportive family you have which enables you to be the sweats mom. I could go there back in the working days with kids, but I never wore a suit to work, just a uniform, but still. . .
Great post. Thanks. Good reminder to breathe, step back, not make assumptions.
I've had people be mean to me because they confused my kindness and friendliness for naivety.
Sometimes people are mean, sometimes they are jealous. Sometimes there are other issues.
My dad told me of this doctor in his church like that who always avoided people.
My Dad went out of his way to bug the man with small talk. The doctor one day started to talk to him eventfully my dad learned that this while knew how to socially interact in business socially interacting on a social level was painful for him and my father helped him communicate more.
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