I regret it.
I don't know.
Is it okay to say anything if you don't like "the feel" of something you think is going on in a friendship?
Is it not okay?
I'm standing on that fine line between speaking up for myself and not.
There's also the(damn)knowledge that what is bugging me about someone else is actually something I need to examine in myself.
And the possibility that the person wasn't doing what I thought she was at all.
But it really felt like she was. Is that just my ego?
Yes, it is.
Because it doesn't matter. What she's feeling/thinking or doing(or not). It isn't under my control or any of my business.
I wish instead of writing an e-mail, calling this dear friend out on the carpet, I had written her a love letter. Telling her all the things I appreciate about her and that I am glad she is here on this earth, and that I am better for knowing her.
The teachings of Abraham say that when we have a grievance about someone it feels so bad to us because God(Source)does not agree. Source sees them as they truly are. Everything else falls away.
I read a lot on the soul. On spiritual matters. Right now I picture those in that realm shaking their heads(in a loving way),saying, "she's book smart, but on a practical level....tsk. She's got quite a long way to go."
Of course, the reason self-loathing feels so bad, is because Source doesn't agree with that either.