One day last week, I had to go to the school. When I got there, I happened upon Riley's recess. There she was, standing off to the side. A group of girls were in a huddle, 15 feet away from her. Riley's shoulders were slumped. Head down, she looked at the group out of the corner of her eye. They paid her no attention.
My heart sank.
No one was actively picking on her, but is this what she goes through every day? Isolation?
The next day, I arrived before recess, backed the mini-van into the parking lot and crawled into the back seat, confident the tinted windows would prevent anyone from seeing me.
Riley ran outside with her class. She walked around with one little girl for a bit. They found a jump rope and made a giant skip-it game. She stood in the middle holding the rope, spinning in circles. The other girls jumped as it made its way around to them. After a while she handed off the rope and did some jumping herself while someone else spun it, nice and slow.
After, she ran over to the swings. She was not fast enough to secure a swing whenever one opened up, but she didn't cry. After a little wait, another little girl held onto a swing for her until she could grab it. Higher, higher, she pumped her legs,hair flying, smile on her face. When the whistle blew, she slowed the swing down, transitioned into lining up, and went inside, no fuss, no muss.
Today was the second day of Operation Playground and Hot Toddy joined me. It's cold here and we shivered in the car, crouching down, trying to be inconspicuous. It was pretty much the same as day one. She was not left out. She was participating. She was having fun. Living her life.
What we see in any given moment is never the big picture.
I'm glad I didn't make a stink about the snapshot I saw last week.
It probably won't be our last secret mission. Next next time we're bringing hot chocolate and a blanket.
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13 comments:
i am printing this and pasting it to my mirror .. perhaps putitng a copy in my wallet .. i needed this .. we all need this .. it's so hard not to jump to the worst place .. but you're right .. context can be everything .. thank you for this, michelle. thank you so much.
Oh my gosh, never try and stop a mum on a mission. It's certainly true that seeing is believing. So glad you didn't jump the gun [like I would have!]
If you have a free mo, pop over and pick up your award. [Saturday's post]
Cheers
Wise words indeed.
It's still hard to witness those isolated moments, though, isn't it?
Here's to many more happy snaps in Riley's album.
(And I must say, I would pay to see a shot of you and your fellow agent on your undercover minivan mission. What we do for love...!)
M, I appreciate this so much...how often do I jump to conclusions because of one incident??
You are too funny hiding in the van...but kinda cozy and bonding..
BTW does Hot Toddy have a name for you?? (It's not like "99" is it?)
Ever followed the school bus? I sure have.... You're a good mom Charlie Brown. :)
You make a damn good point.
Every kid has hard days on the playground. I sure remember some.
I love the image of you guys hiding in the back of the van though. :)
I well remember the heartbreak of watching our kids with others, and wishing they'd be more social. In spite of us, they eventually find their own way, and it usually works out fairly well. Obviously, you have an additional factor to consider in all this, which gives you even more cause for parental worry. Somehow we survive it all, parents and kids, though some days I had my doubts.
I love "spying" on our girls - nine times out of ten they're doing what I expect, ie NOT joining in and off in their own little worlds. Would love to think that one day they'll be like your Riley...
Love this!
Do you have a notice to put on the outside of the van (if the car is a'rockin'....)?
Thank you for this.
If you bring a blanket and hot chocolate in a van with HT = you may not watch her at all ;-)
love her, love you
you wise woman, you
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