Woof!

Our application for Riley's service dog went through and we are almost ready to roll! First we had to fight some internal demons,(and an external one in the form of my MIL).

For several nights, HT and I have stayed up late, asking ourselves these questions.....

1) Who are we to ask for money from anyone?

2)Is Riley "autistic enough" to even need a service dog?

3)Are we magnifying her differences by hanging a big fat "service dog" sign on her forehead?

4) Why does it cost so much money?

Let's tackle these, one at a time, shall we? Will you come with? Talk me through?

1) Who are we to ask for money from anyone?

Service dogs are not "for sale." To make it fair, each family must fund raise in order to obtain one. Todd and I put ourselves through college, with no help. We've worked hard. We live modestly. All of our money over the last 6 years has gone into treatments for autism. Our medical insurance hasn't covered a thing. We've never asked anyone for anything, ever. We've taken pretty damn good care of this child with no support. Perhaps it's time to loosen our white knuckle grip and allow others who might want to help, to do so.

2) Is Riley "autistic enough" to need a service dog?

Riley has come a long way, but she still needs much emotional support. Her teacher is on board and hopefully the school district will allow the dog in the classroom. Riley has meltdowns at school, and needs many sensory breaks in order to make it through the day. Her service dog will be trained to recognize the signs that she is escalating, and to intervene, by putting it's head on her lap, nuzzling her, changing the subject and offering a source of comfort. It will also be trained to stop her from distracting repetitive behaviors or "stims" that are common to kids on the spectrum. Even if the dog is not allowed at school, it will help her with the same issues at home, and will allow her more freedom, by giving her more confidence to enter new situations. The dog will be an instant conversation starter, which will help with her social deficits. Presently it is very hard for Riley to initiate conversations or to join new groups.

3) Are we magnifying her differences?

Dog or no dog, Riley is "different." We can embrace who she is, and work with it, or we can spend a whole lot of time trying to "pass" for typical and watch it all fall down the second she has a meltdown or doesn't understand a social nuance. Those who have kids with visible disabilities have an out. People cut them a break. If Riley's service dog makes her more visible and cuts her a break we're all for it. One day, she may not want to be walking around being seen with a service dog. Today she does. She is very excited about it. Autism/Asperger's isn't something to be ashamed of.

4) Why does it cost so much money?

These dogs are highly trained. The families have responsibility for them but never really purchase them, as the service organization maintains ownership. The dogs perform their lifelong jobs for your family for a one time service fee of 11k. They are tailor trained to each child's specific needs and will be your child's companion for life. We are in the process of videotaping Riley so they can see the behaviors she needs help with and figure out ways the trainers can teach the dog to intervene. Having a lifelong friend who understands her, whom Riley can count on to always be consistent, is priceless to us.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for helping me process.

Tomorrow I'll put up a link.