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I will stop using "my kids" as an excuse not to fully live my life.
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There are so many things I want to do. All the time. And it's hard because at least one of my kids isn't fully tote-able. It is often a bigger production to work it all out to meet her needs, than whatever I wanted to do is worth. So I sit here in my house, quietly resentful.
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But here's the deal. It isn't her fault I can't do the things I want to do. It's my own fault for not taking the time or effort to find a baby-sitter. Because when she was screaming non-stop, it used to be nearly impossible. But that isn't the case anymore. That's an old tape running in my head. My kids do great with baby-sitters! They love it! Hello, McFly?
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So, wanna know what I've been up to? Well on Sunday, I joined a chorus. I drove home absolutely high! Today I'm having lunch with a friend (it's her birthday) and tonight HT and I are going to the party of a wonderful friend where we will have the opportunity to throw into the fire a symbol of something we want to let go of.
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I'm going to throw quiet resentment into the fire, and in the spirit of focus on what you do want, not what you don't, here is my new statement:
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"Because I have kids, it is important for me to fully live my life."
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Amen.
24 comments:
That is a great resolution for ANY parent to make but is especially important for parents with a child who has special needs -i.e. autism.
My daughter tries to do as much as she can that makes/helps her "feel" good, so to speak. Granted, there are times this may be easier for her to manage than for other parents of children like yours or hers because she and her family and I live together therefore, there usually are not a lot of issues with child care. Occasionally, things do crop up where we might actually need a sitter -something we both want to attend and not take either much less both the little ones but we try to see to it that both of us get at least a little time to ourselves, to just break free of the issues that follow one with autistic children. I really believe anyone who lives with small children -regardless of whether they are NT or special needs or anything -needs to have some "my time" or "away time" of their own or else, the person inside will risk withering away.
A-effing-men! Remember you are always "teaching" your kids - so now you'll be teaching them that Mom is a well-rounded individual that makes shit happen!
Lovely.
Michelle, you did it again (make me THINK, that is).
I resolution I hereby pledge to follow
"But that isn't the case anymore. That's an old tape running in my head."
it's so easy to get stuck .. to forget that they might just be tapes. to perpetuate the old myths.
such a great reminder!
Way to go Michelle! Way to kick ass and take names!
:-) Now, how do I get an invitation to this very cool sounding party?
Yes, that definitely sounds like the kind of party I need to go to! And good for you for getting out and doing things that are good for you. :)
Yes! You! Can!
Yes! Wonderful.
Michele, Singing is my greatest pastime also. Can you take notes at this party and bring us back instructions for our own party? Or maybe host a virtual party?
Huh - well done. I had a similar revelation recently - did u see my "free time" calculator. "I don't have time" was my old tape from the days of juggling work and school - turns out now I do, and lots of it. Kudos girlie!
You're my hero!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
You remembered you were a person before you were a parent! Well done you!
I feel you are making great strides
Awww gawd. Here you go again, KICKING my ASS. *sigh*
I need to write this down and put it where I have to see it.
;)
I'm using that for my resolution next year... I'm full up for 2009.
Good girl.
Love.
My resolution was to stop trying to walk so fast through revolving doors. Seriously. I get in...start pushing too hard, trying to get it over with (I hate revolving doors). So I resolved to revolve better.
Now...reading your resolution...I realize mine sucks. What was I thinking? You put your heart into yours and your happiness. That's what resolutions are all about. So thanks for writing about this. I will now re-solve the invovled puzzle of my soluble resolution.
Amen.
You are being so much nicer to yourself than I am this year...
"I will not be fat at 40." I don't know...sounded good January 1, but now...eh.:)
"I will not be fat at 40"
Hearin' ya loud and clear!!
YES YES! i'm on the same road, sister. in fact, filling ourselves up is ESSENTIAL for our kids to see! it's like that old al-anon saying, taking care of oneself IS taking care of those we love.
Oh Michelle. You are genius. Bravo.
Words to live by. And, um, does your babysitter travel??
Sing it, Sister. Start with a Hallelujah chorus or two.
To quote Maya Angelou, you make me proud to spell my name w-o-m-a-n.
love.
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!
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