After breakfast, the nerves start. I fail to realize it.
When I tell her it's time for school, and I want to take her picture before she leaves, she starts screaming. I get pissed. She does her best to appease me but her smile is forced and tight in the photo.
Walking to school she verbalizes to her dad she is scared everyone will be looking at her new jeans. Todd reassures her. Tells her everyone wears jeans. People won't notice.
They get into the school. First teacher they see,
"RILEY! LOOK AT YOUR NEW JEANS!"
Todd desperately tries to "ix-nay on the eeens-jay," but then another teacher rounds the corner,
"RILEY! YOUR JEANS!"
Doh!
Damn it. We all just love you. We are excited for you and your long awaited jeans.
Todd fears she is about to blow....
And then, a miracle occurs.
Riley says, "I need to see Mrs. M."
She knew her teacher Mrs. M. would help her calm down, and requested to be with her, instead of having a meltdown.
It sucks something she was so excited about could cause such anxiety. She really, really wanted those jeans. 
But, she asked for help and she has supportive and loving teachers who willingly provide it.
Call me happy.
Call me sad.
~
I'm sorry I didn't anticipate your fear, and I'm just so sorry you have to go through it, little love.
15 comments:
If all the moms had a buck for every time we failed to anticipate the myriad ways in which our child could be hurt, we could retire the national debt -- and pay off all the foreclosed mortgages besides.
Ah Michelle...
The struggle in regulating intense emotions. It is so hard for our kids. And so heartbreaking to watch.
You didn't FAIL to anticipate.. you got caught up in the excitement of the moment. Perfectly "normal".
Your Riley's response in swinging from intense excitement to intense anxiety/fear is so similar to how Salamander responded at Riley's age. It gets better, it really does as the kids get a little older and learn to regulate their 'swings' just a little better.
Riley did an amazing job in catching herself before 'going off', she realized what was happening and ASKED FOR HELP. That's a HUGE step in the right direction. And now that she realizes that she CAN ask for help, that she HAS some measure of control over how to work through her emotions, she'll continue to practice and get more confidence.
I see continued great growth ahead, I really do..
Hugs,
That is so great that Riley was able to ask for what she knew would help her to deal with her feelings.
And there's only so much that we parents can anticipate. I think you do an amazing job of it.
Really tough balancing act.
See me, but don't look at me.
Notice me but don't let me see you do it.
Catch me just at the right time to compliment me, but, it won't be the same next time.
We must be magicians and clairvoyant at the same time. It seems, most of the time, that you are very good at both.
That SWEET girl has more and better skills than most adults I know. Asking for help and knowing who will provide it are HUGE!
Way to go, MOM! She learned that from you!!! : )
Oh this SOOO a doggy moment - how many sleeps?? Far too many that's how many.
Riley is such a cool kid.
We're all allowed to be afraid. It's how we handle the fear that matters. And Riley did a bang up job. Way to go, Miss Riley!
K
i can't say it better than kim just did.
hugs to you, happy/sad ~ i know it well
Riley took care of herself when she needed to--all of us should be so aware of our needs.
So, I have to ask--how did she feel about her jeans when she got home?
It sounds like Riley has taken some amazing steps lately. How wonderful that her teacher is such a comfort to her and could help her through the intensity of a new experience. Kudos to you all for helping your precious daughter grow so beautifully and know the comfort of safety.
And . . . thanks for visiting my blog. I was honored to have you drop by.
Well, she got through the day. I didn't have to go get her or bring a change of clothes to school.
One of her little friends at school pointed out to her that everyone was asking about her skirt that day too, and she was okay with it. I love that little girl, truly.
Then, when Riley got home, she didn't want to talk about it. She rarely wants to talk about her day.
But, the jeans stayed on 'til bed. So I'm thinking it was a more positive than negative experience for her.
Thanks Jess, for asking! And thank you all for your kind and supportive comments.
: )
And yes Amanda...it was a doggy moment for sure! Can't wait!
Thanks for letting us know what happened. I've thought of Riley and her jeans a dozen times since reading this.
Good to know they stayed on til bedtime. That's got to be a measure of success.
Love to you and yours.
Riley, you bad-ass. Holla!
As for you...how the HELL are you/we supposed to anticipate every melt down?
Bottom line? Your baby girl did an excellent job regulating herself!
Easy, lady.
LOVE.
It is huge that she knew how to care for HERSELF, M. NONE of us moms are on spot 100% of the time, even without issues like this. Don't be so hard on yourself! She is growin up, and dealing! Progress! Yay! I am happy for her.
((hug))
:)
Such great women commenting on this blog Michelle! I can only add one big heartfelt DITTO.
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