A while back I got upset with Riley. "Upset" isn't really a strong enough word. Furious. Rage filled is more like it. I can't even remember why. We were in the middle of moving. I know that. And my thyroid problem was undiagnosed, making me quite emotional.
In an effort not to unleash the anger I was experiencing on my child, I turned away from her and started to stomp down the hall. I had bare feet, and the force with which I brought that first foot onto the hardwood floor literally snapped a nerve.
Pain! My stomach sank and I had the feeling of,"Holy crap,you really did something serious here."
I thought my foot was broken, but waited over a year to see a doctor because I was ashamed of how my injury occurred. How could I be so angry at my child? I'm such a loser. What is wrong with me?
The first doctor I saw didn't take. His office was just disrespectful on a lot of levels and his instructions kept leading to more problems. But a month ago, I found a really great doctor here in Cleveland. Today he gave me a second cortisone shot in the foot to calm down that broken nerve. If this doesn't work, some minor surgery might be needed.
When I got home, I sat quietly, rubbing my foot with oil, talking to it, telling it thank you for taking the hit.
"I forgive you," she said.
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11 comments:
Be kinder to your feet! They carry our whole body and connect us to the ground. I wonder why we see them as the first line of defense and as a weapon? Probably comes right down through our DNA from the cave people.
OUCH!
Ow!
Dear Foot:
Please heal nicely for Michelle. She loves you.
xo
pixiemama
'I was ashamed of how my injury occurred. How could I be so angry at my child? I'm such a loser. What is wrong with me?'
really? i mean reeeeeally? you knew your anger was misdirected. you turned around. you found a way to diffuse it. ok, maybe not the best way, at least for your foot, but a way.
i'm glad that your foot has forgiven you. now what about your heart?
please go easier on my friend. she's no 'loser'.
Yes, give that foot some TLC and sweet talk. She deserves it!
I'm glad you finally went to a Dr, and found the right Dr
You're way, way to hard on yourself - cut that out, OK? ;)
OK, again and just and only because I'm beginning to think of you as a friend, read this rant and inwardly digest.
You are a good person, a great mum and most definitely NOT a loser. A loser would have snapped at Riley not snapped a nerve in her foot, would not even remember this far down the track let alone bother to write a post about it. You are most likely one of the most controlled people I know - and I mean that in a good way so don't go rushing off to the therapist.
Love
Amanda
x
PS Hope the foot feels better soon!
Sounds to me like that's one smart tootsie - kicking the hardwood rather than kicking some helpless butt! I think it deserves a pedicure!
well. michelle? you didn't yell or hit your kid, didn't abuse a substance...
you did you what had to do. move on.
get a nerf bat.
did i say that i love you?
Oh Michelle, you lived in pain for over a year? May you be well - heart and foot.
So glad you were finally able to get some relief for your foot - both physically and emotionally.
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