A while back I got upset with Riley. "Upset" isn't really a strong enough word. Furious. Rage filled is more like it. I can't even remember why. We were in the middle of moving. I know that. And my thyroid problem was undiagnosed, making me quite emotional.
In an effort not to unleash the anger I was experiencing on my child, I turned away from her and started to stomp down the hall. I had bare feet, and the force with which I brought that first foot onto the hardwood floor literally snapped a nerve.
Pain! My stomach sank and I had the feeling of,"Holy crap,you really did something serious here."
I thought my foot was broken, but waited over a year to see a doctor because I was ashamed of how my injury occurred. How could I be so angry at my child? I'm such a loser. What is wrong with me?
The first doctor I saw didn't take. His office was just disrespectful on a lot of levels and his instructions kept leading to more problems. But a month ago, I found a really great doctor here in Cleveland. Today he gave me a second cortisone shot in the foot to calm down that broken nerve. If this doesn't work, some minor surgery might be needed.
When I got home, I sat quietly, rubbing my foot with oil, talking to it, telling it thank you for taking the hit.
"I forgive you," she said.