A couple of weeks back, Riley was on a play date with one of her Circle of Friends friends. The mom is a substitute teacher at the school. She is one of those very involved school moms, always there. Knows every kid, etc. She has seen Riley at her absolute worst at school, having huge screaming meltdowns.
When I picked Riley up from her two hour play date she threw out casually,"We should think about a sleep over sometime."
Riley had been dreaming of a sleep over for months. She knew all the other little girls did it, and she wanted to do it too. In my mind, when she talked of sleep overs, there was no way in hell she would be ready for one any time soon, but this situation seemed somehow different.
1) Highly involved mother. Receptive to Riley. Not judgy. Has already seen Riley meltdown and still invited her.
2) Little girl is sweet and kind, and also sometimes shy, and is an only child so there would not be the overwhelm of too many people in the form of sibs.
3)They live two streets over. A five minute walk.
4)RILEY WANTS TO GO.
When we presented the idea to Riley she literally jumped for joy.
So the day of the sleep over arrived. Riley began counting down the hours and minutes as soon as she woke up. I was worried she might just wear herself out before the event with all the lead up stress.
There was a bit of a snit when it was determined I would not be running out and buying her another sleeping bag (her old Care Bear one is for babies),as she would not need it in the 90 degree weather we were having.
We packed her bag. Killed an hour putting her in the shower and giving her a pedicure. I let her and Seth watch extra TV to distract her.
On the walk over, she reached for my hand. Gave it a squeeze. She was nervous, but she was doing it. She'd made a decision. She was going! She let go of my hand. A few steps later, she grabbed it again. She let go again.
I dropped off my daughter at 5:30PM and would not be picking her up until the next day at 10:00AM.
After one on one with Seth, I put him to bed, and then I cried. Tears of joy for her and pride and relief, and how could this be? I zipped off a request for pep talks and felt soothed the second I pressed "send." Even before the replies from my sistah's came rushing back to me. Thank you ladies.
I woke in the night, tossing and turning, missing a limb. How could she be "out there" dangling in the world someplace without me? Without Todd? Without Seth? She is so vulnerable.
She is safe.
She is safe.
She is safe.
She is safe.
Riley had a great time. The two little girls slept in one big bed, and stayed up late, giggling. They had pancakes for breakfast. She totally did it.
When I picked Riley up from her two hour play date she threw out casually,"We should think about a sleep over sometime."
Riley had been dreaming of a sleep over for months. She knew all the other little girls did it, and she wanted to do it too. In my mind, when she talked of sleep overs, there was no way in hell she would be ready for one any time soon, but this situation seemed somehow different.
1) Highly involved mother. Receptive to Riley. Not judgy. Has already seen Riley meltdown and still invited her.
2) Little girl is sweet and kind, and also sometimes shy, and is an only child so there would not be the overwhelm of too many people in the form of sibs.
3)They live two streets over. A five minute walk.
4)RILEY WANTS TO GO.
When we presented the idea to Riley she literally jumped for joy.
So the day of the sleep over arrived. Riley began counting down the hours and minutes as soon as she woke up. I was worried she might just wear herself out before the event with all the lead up stress.
There was a bit of a snit when it was determined I would not be running out and buying her another sleeping bag (her old Care Bear one is for babies),as she would not need it in the 90 degree weather we were having.
We packed her bag. Killed an hour putting her in the shower and giving her a pedicure. I let her and Seth watch extra TV to distract her.
On the walk over, she reached for my hand. Gave it a squeeze. She was nervous, but she was doing it. She'd made a decision. She was going! She let go of my hand. A few steps later, she grabbed it again. She let go again.
I dropped off my daughter at 5:30PM and would not be picking her up until the next day at 10:00AM.
After one on one with Seth, I put him to bed, and then I cried. Tears of joy for her and pride and relief, and how could this be? I zipped off a request for pep talks and felt soothed the second I pressed "send." Even before the replies from my sistah's came rushing back to me. Thank you ladies.
I woke in the night, tossing and turning, missing a limb. How could she be "out there" dangling in the world someplace without me? Without Todd? Without Seth? She is so vulnerable.
She is safe.
She is safe.
She is safe.
She is safe.
Riley had a great time. The two little girls slept in one big bed, and stayed up late, giggling. They had pancakes for breakfast. She totally did it.
~~~
The light of God surrounds her;
The love of God enfolds her;
The power of God protects her;
The presence of God watches
over her;
Wherever Riley is, God is,
and all is well.*
-Amen
The love of God enfolds her;
The power of God protects her;
The presence of God watches
over her;
Wherever Riley is, God is,
and all is well.*
-Amen
*Unity prayer for protection
18 comments:
This post will give hope to we parents whose children have never been invited to a school mate's home for a birthday celebration,much less a sleep over!
Know that you really are an inspiration, and a wonderful example of how hard the work for your daughter is, but how worth it it will be in the end.
Peace
You didn't email me back yesterday so I was worried!! So happy it went so well. Love to Riley, C
wow, another beautifully articulated post Michelle. Congratulations are due to brave Riley, trusting parents, and big hearted brother too.
-e-
Totally. Love.
I am so happy for her! for you! That's amazing wonderfull and so many other good adjectives that I can't think of right now.
This is so incredibly, wonderfully, BEAUTIFULLY AWESOME!!!! So proud of all of you. ALL of you!
Yay!
Delighted.
But not surprised.
Wonderful! This post makes me so happy!
Happy. Happy. Happy.
kickin ass and takin names, that girl of yours. and her mom.
love
I know that missing limb feeling well! So far Rojo has only spent the night at grandparent's, but someday he will stay with a friend, and it will be my turn to zip off a pep talk request.
AWESOME! How great for Riley to have done the sleepover. My granddaughter frequently visits at the home of her Mom's bestest friend and her family -sleeps over there too -and thus far has done very well although the other children involved there are in their teens and they do cater A LOT to six-year-old Maya's whims. This past Friday she was supposed to spend the night there again but the friend ended up bringing her home around midnight. Why? Well because Maya wanted to be sure to be home in time to be able to go to a picnic yesterday with her Mom, Dad and little brother! The picnic didn't start until 5 p.m. yesterday so she had a long, long wait to get to go to that. Hope Riley has the chance now to do many more sleepovers -and that you will rest easier with them in the future too. LOL (Do parents/grandparents EVER rest that easily with autistic children?)
Atta girl, Riley!
Sound like Seth is very much liking the one on one's, too.
love that girl.
love you!
xo
s
Oh God, I love that Unity prayer, thanks for that reminder.
She has come so far, Michelle. I love hearing about Riley stretching herself into previously scary territory. You are the greatest mother!
I cannot wait until the doggie comes into your lives, too.
So awesome I am glad it went so well!!!
Oh my gosh - this just came through my reader.
Yay, you! Yay, Riley!
Best (just kidding).
love.
That is awesome. yay!!!!
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