While writing this blog from 2006-2009, I was working on a memoir. It can be found on Amazon, in paperback and Kindle versions.
Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar
While writing this blog from 2006-2009, I was working on a memoir. It can be found on Amazon, in paperback and Kindle versions.
Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Sunday, October 04, 2009
fullsoulahead.com
In The Seat Of The Soul, Gary Zukav describes a level of consciousness where the personality is aligned with the soul's intent. He describes blended beings who live like this as "full souls." I loved the concept of lining up with my higher self and moving through life that way and put out the intention to go in that direction.
Riley was not even a year old when I read the book, and I wrote to Zukav to tell him how much it inspired me. I expressed how I hoped my spiritual journey would help me be a better parent.
At the time I had no idea the ride I had just gotten on.
In March, 2006 I began writing and I started this blog. I needed a title.
Flipping through The Seat of the Soul for inspiration I came across the "full soul" concept again and explained the meaning of the expression to Todd.
"Full soul...."
"Full soul...."
"Something with full soul," I muttered.
Todd (putting the H in Hot Toddy) looked at me from across the room and said enthusiastically,"Full-Soul-Ahead!"
And that's how this 'lil blog was born.
But she's growing up. She wants more freedom. She needs more space!
Please come join me at, fullsoulahead.com!
It will be just like here, but there.
There will also be a page dedicated to Riley's service dog, Jingle.
And a page for paid reviews(show me the money)!
It will be fun.
I promise.
I'm leaving this blog up, but future posts will be over there. Come see me, okay?
http://www.fullsoulahead.com/
Lovingly yours,
MO'N
Riley was not even a year old when I read the book, and I wrote to Zukav to tell him how much it inspired me. I expressed how I hoped my spiritual journey would help me be a better parent.
At the time I had no idea the ride I had just gotten on.
In March, 2006 I began writing and I started this blog. I needed a title.
Flipping through The Seat of the Soul for inspiration I came across the "full soul" concept again and explained the meaning of the expression to Todd.
"Full soul...."
"Full soul...."
"Something with full soul," I muttered.
Todd (putting the H in Hot Toddy) looked at me from across the room and said enthusiastically,"Full-Soul-Ahead!"
And that's how this 'lil blog was born.
But she's growing up. She wants more freedom. She needs more space!
Please come join me at, fullsoulahead.com!
It will be just like here, but there.
There will also be a page dedicated to Riley's service dog, Jingle.
And a page for paid reviews(show me the money)!
It will be fun.
I promise.
I'm leaving this blog up, but future posts will be over there. Come see me, okay?http://www.fullsoulahead.com/
Lovingly yours,
MO'N
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Jingle Jingle Jingle!
This from 4 Paws:
Hi Riley,
My name is Jingle and I am a Australian Shepherd/Boxer mix. I am so excited that you are going to be my new best friend. We can do so many girl things together like having a girls night sleep over, EVERY single night! My birthday is November 7, 2008 and I am a member of the Hodgepodge Names Gang. I am excited I get to celebrate my first birthday with you. That is so cool. I hope we can have a party! Do you like liverwurst cake? I love it and even better if it is decorated with Pupperoni and Milk Bones! I have been hoping my whole life that I would get to graduate and have a partner and secretly I always hoped my partner, (that is you!) would be a girl like me. I hope your family will hurry to get here because I will be dreaming about you all night long!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Jingle
Hi Riley,
My name is Jingle and I am a Australian Shepherd/Boxer mix. I am so excited that you are going to be my new best friend. We can do so many girl things together like having a girls night sleep over, EVERY single night! My birthday is November 7, 2008 and I am a member of the Hodgepodge Names Gang. I am excited I get to celebrate my first birthday with you. That is so cool. I hope we can have a party! Do you like liverwurst cake? I love it and even better if it is decorated with Pupperoni and Milk Bones! I have been hoping my whole life that I would get to graduate and have a partner and secretly I always hoped my partner, (that is you!) would be a girl like me. I hope your family will hurry to get here because I will be dreaming about you all night long!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Jingle
4 Paws makes the match based on the dog's temperament and the video we sent in of Riley. We had no say in the matter and could not request dogs. Out of over 100 dogs on the 4 Paws training page, Jingle is the one Riley wished for. She was a floppy little puppy when she first appeared on the training page, and Riley fell in love. There were two other dogs in that litter, but Riley never mentioned them. Just Jingle. "Maybe I'll get Jingle," she'd sigh, wistfully, whenever we looked at the page.
Isn't Jingle the best name ever? Doesn't it just sound bouncy and joyful? I love that she's a mixed breed.
The news came in last night, after Riley and Seth went to bed. We have yet to tell them. We are having a birthday party for Seth today (yes, almost a month late, Sept. is hard with the start of school ) and have decided not to tell her until after the party. So much is about Riley. This is Seth's day.
It might just kill me.
So, thank you for letting me tell you. It takes some of the edge off.
My heart is so full of appreciation for everyone who has supported us on our way toward this moment. I'll post more after we tell Riley.
Love.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Google, I appreciate you.
My daughter is doing well today because I was able to search, search, search for therapies to help her. I love you Google. And I love your artists. I hope you forgive me for lifting the picture above, but I just wanted to say how much I look forward to your artwork and what a thrill I get each time I see it changed to commemorate an important day.
Google, you are the best!
Lovingly yours,
MO'N
Google, you are the best!
Lovingly yours,
MO'N
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
The Cello
We looked up "cello rental" on Google and off we went.
The first store was old and musty. They had just one kid sized cello. Riley sat on a chair to try it and the woman was abrupt.
"Move forward." she barked. "No, put your butt on the edge of this seat."
Her directives (and her tone) were confusing. Riley was trying to obey the requests, but getting agitated.
I don't know anything about cellos, but the fit didn't look right. It seemed to me, Riley's hand should be able to glide her bow across the strings evenly, not in a contorted position. It was like her arm wasn't long enough to handle this cello. Perhaps she needed a smaller size. The lady poo-pooed me. I obviously didn't know anything about cellos (and besides she didn't have any smaller sizes).
For good measure, a man came out from the back room, possibly her son. He rolled his eyes at me and stated, "She's big enough for that cello."
I told them we would look around and possibly come back, at which point she warned me that I didn't want to go to "such and such" store, down the road, because they charge a deposit.
We immediately headed toward "such and such." Riley cried, "But Mom! They charge a deposit!" She had no idea what that meant, but knew it didn't sound good.
I explained that charging a deposit guards the store against people damaging their instruments, or stealing them, or not paying their rental fees. Deposits might just mean the store really cares about its instruments. I think of the cello we just saw and the smiley face sticker someone had slapped onto the back of it.
"Also," I said, "It is unprofessional to badmouth your competition. It says much more about the first store than it does about the second one."
We went in and the second place was clean. The instruments gleamed. The service was impeccable. The man at the counter concluded Riley needed a size right in the middle of two sizes, and found a German 1/4 size just for her, whatever that means. They cleaned it up, and delivered it to our house that evening.
They charged a refundable deposit, and six dollars more than the other store per month, which we're willing to pay. At any point, we can put what we've paid to rent it, toward purchase.
If there is one thing I've learned from having a child on the autism spectrum it's to go with my intuition. If it doesn't feel right do not proceed. I could not get out of that first store fast enough.
Her first group lesson was today.
She insisted on no help from her father as she walked into school today because after all she is not a baby. He watched her with her heavy backpack, carrying that rented cello (worth 2K, BTW) up the stairs and then she turned the corner and was gone.
Tonight we couldn't get much out of her about the lesson other than "it went well," and "we plucked."
I'll take it.
The first store was old and musty. They had just one kid sized cello. Riley sat on a chair to try it and the woman was abrupt.
"Move forward." she barked. "No, put your butt on the edge of this seat."
Her directives (and her tone) were confusing. Riley was trying to obey the requests, but getting agitated.
I don't know anything about cellos, but the fit didn't look right. It seemed to me, Riley's hand should be able to glide her bow across the strings evenly, not in a contorted position. It was like her arm wasn't long enough to handle this cello. Perhaps she needed a smaller size. The lady poo-pooed me. I obviously didn't know anything about cellos (and besides she didn't have any smaller sizes).
For good measure, a man came out from the back room, possibly her son. He rolled his eyes at me and stated, "She's big enough for that cello."
I told them we would look around and possibly come back, at which point she warned me that I didn't want to go to "such and such" store, down the road, because they charge a deposit.
We immediately headed toward "such and such." Riley cried, "But Mom! They charge a deposit!" She had no idea what that meant, but knew it didn't sound good.
I explained that charging a deposit guards the store against people damaging their instruments, or stealing them, or not paying their rental fees. Deposits might just mean the store really cares about its instruments. I think of the cello we just saw and the smiley face sticker someone had slapped onto the back of it.
"Also," I said, "It is unprofessional to badmouth your competition. It says much more about the first store than it does about the second one."
We went in and the second place was clean. The instruments gleamed. The service was impeccable. The man at the counter concluded Riley needed a size right in the middle of two sizes, and found a German 1/4 size just for her, whatever that means. They cleaned it up, and delivered it to our house that evening.
They charged a refundable deposit, and six dollars more than the other store per month, which we're willing to pay. At any point, we can put what we've paid to rent it, toward purchase.
If there is one thing I've learned from having a child on the autism spectrum it's to go with my intuition. If it doesn't feel right do not proceed. I could not get out of that first store fast enough.
Her first group lesson was today.
She insisted on no help from her father as she walked into school today because after all she is not a baby. He watched her with her heavy backpack, carrying that rented cello (worth 2K, BTW) up the stairs and then she turned the corner and was gone.
Tonight we couldn't get much out of her about the lesson other than "it went well," and "we plucked."
I'll take it.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
This Just In...
When we sent Riley off to school this morning it didn't look good. She was scared about her speech, and not in a good mood overall. I wasn't sure if she'd stick around to give the speech or go careening out of the room to hide in the sensory room down the hall.
After I dropped her off I didn't hear a thing all day. It was torture!
At 2PM I picked up Seth on one side of the building, and then we swung around to meet Riley and HT on the other side. There she was in the parking lot, holding her hands together to keep her tic in check. The arm tic means she's happy.
Seth said, "She's not crying so it must have gone all right."
When I got up to her she looked in my eyes but didn't spill it.
"Well?" I asked. "Did you give your speech?"
She smiled big.
"Yes."
We high fived, both hands.
Long pause.
"And what happened?" I asked.
"I get to be the back up," she grinned.
Six candidates. She came in third. She technically isn't in student council, but she wasn't kicked to the curb. If one of the two elected candidates does something un student counsel worthy or decides to quit, she'll be up for election. 'Til then we don't have to do a thing. Best of both worlds if you ask me.
SHE RAN FOR STUDENT COUNCIL AND GAVE A SPEECH IN FRONT OF HER CLASS.
She's happy.
I'm over the moon proud.
After I dropped her off I didn't hear a thing all day. It was torture!
At 2PM I picked up Seth on one side of the building, and then we swung around to meet Riley and HT on the other side. There she was in the parking lot, holding her hands together to keep her tic in check. The arm tic means she's happy.
Seth said, "She's not crying so it must have gone all right."
When I got up to her she looked in my eyes but didn't spill it.
"Well?" I asked. "Did you give your speech?"
She smiled big.
"Yes."
We high fived, both hands.
Long pause.
"And what happened?" I asked.
"I get to be the back up," she grinned.
Six candidates. She came in third. She technically isn't in student council, but she wasn't kicked to the curb. If one of the two elected candidates does something un student counsel worthy or decides to quit, she'll be up for election. 'Til then we don't have to do a thing. Best of both worlds if you ask me.
SHE RAN FOR STUDENT COUNCIL AND GAVE A SPEECH IN FRONT OF HER CLASS.
She's happy.
I'm over the moon proud.
I'm at Hopeful Parents Today
In a recent blog post, I wrote about how there were times I felt like I hated Riley when she was little.
Then I didn't sleep for three nights.
Will she read it one day and convince herself I didn't love her? Will she blame herself? Am I a horrible person for having those feelings to begin with? Is that something I should just keep secret? Will it hurt her? Will the "you shouldn't write about your kids" nazis get on my tookus?
Come read about how it all worked out over at Hopeful Parents.
Then I didn't sleep for three nights.
Will she read it one day and convince herself I didn't love her? Will she blame herself? Am I a horrible person for having those feelings to begin with? Is that something I should just keep secret? Will it hurt her? Will the "you shouldn't write about your kids" nazis get on my tookus?
Come read about how it all worked out over at Hopeful Parents.
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